There's a lot to this album, which is actually a compilation of single and EP releases from 2009-2013. During this time I was focusing more on film than on music, and a lot of that was because I was going through a sort of “mid-career crisis”. I no longer owned some of my music (due to a previous songwriting contract – a legal hurdle that I've since leapt) and as a result I didn't know if music was what I wanted to do anymore.
All that said, there's still some very interesting stuff on here. Nearly the first half of the album is me purely, finally, rocking out, while the last half is a mix of epic ballads and sonic references to previous work. In a lot of ways, I feel both the music and the lyrics deal with a sort of creative personality disorder, and a crisis of faith. I also think it's rather dark. There's where it gets its title – a kind of play on the idea that this is the dark time before my inevitable creative renaissance, as I head toward a middle-age period in my life.
Release Date: March 4, 2014
Middle Aegis Press
Middle Aegis Reviewed By Murfreesboro Pulse
28 July 2014 By Joint Custody Productions in Middle Aegis ReviewsThe Patient
For all you know
I'm just a whisper in your ear
And a moment that will pass
Don't let it show now
You'd rather leave things
Unsaid
Undone
But I just want a little look inside
So I can get a piece of your heart
Yeah I promise I won't be denied
If you get lost I'll give you the ride
Cos I'm waiting
Your honest days are numbered
I'm aching
Forgotten face
Your honest days are gone
For all you have
There's no moment of truth
Waiting for your name
And there's no black and blue
If your knees don't burn
Then your heart sure will
But I just want a little look inside
So I can get a piece of your heart
Yeah I promise I won't be denied
If you get lost I'll give you the ride
Cos I'm waiting
Your honest days are numbered
I'm aching
Forgotten face
Your honest days are gone
I wanna know
What you're thinking
I could sure use a bit of your help
I wanna know
What you're dreamin
Please don't leave me sitting here by myself
Cos I'm waiting
Your honest days are numbered
I'm aching
Even with God's Grace
In the stardust haze
I'm waiting
Your honest days are numbered
I'm aching
Forgotten face
Your honest days are gone
What
Went
Wrong
Words
I'm biting my tongue like an idiot
You're waving your flag like you've taken me down
You won't go the long way 'round
You're waking me up in the dead of night
I'm calling your bluff like I'm picking a fight
Is that what you wanted?
Well there's nothing I can say
There's no promise I can fake
I just don't believe your words
And I don't want to hear them
I just don't believe your words
And you won't believe anything at all
You're shaking your head like you won't give in
I'm laying my claim to this moment in time
It's nothing that I'd confide
I'm holding back words that would break you up
You're hitting the rails like you're coming undone
You better hold on
Well there's nothing I can say
There's no promise I can fake
I just don't believe your words
And I don't want to hear them
I just don't believe your words
And you won't believe anything at all
There's nothing to pretend
There's no rules left to bend
The secret's out
But you wouldn't hear it over
You couldn't hear it over yourself
You're a ticking timebomb of a hurricane
You're a betting man's last chance call
I'm tying my hands
Discretion be damned
Cos I can see the writing's on the wall
Well there's nothing I can say
There's no promise I can fake
I just don't believe your words
And I don't want to hear them
I just don't believe your words
And you don't have a clue
I just don't believe your words
And I don't want to hear them
I just don't believe your words
And you won't believe anything at all
Deadweight Destiny
There's someone waiting here
Don't you deny those fears
You call
You call me insincere
There's someone wasting time
Begging to cross the line
You're far
You're farther than you're near
Check-mated
Your desires
Deadweight
Your destiny
There's someone in the sound
Faceless spinning in the clouds
The fall
It's breaking more than ground
Check-mated
Your desire
Deadweight
Your destiny
How far the way you've come
To walk the world undone
Love, you say you will
And I'll deceive your heart
Check-mated
Your desire
Deadweight
Your destiny
Misfortune
My apprentice
You'll wait
And I'll tie your hands
How far the way you've come
To walk the world undone
Love, you say you will
And I'll deceive your heart
Undertow
I've got a minute
Or two if you like
I'll tell you everything I know in that time
You may not like it
When I turn out the lights
Slither down the surface
Of your living disguise
Gone is every melody you come from
Honest in your eyes but not behind them
Shake yourself from random acts of passion
Maybe you say you will
That doesn't make it happen
If we could fly
Then we would know
With the temporary undertow
On the fringe of high
And the cusp of low
Through the lonely air
I'm running backwards
I'm hot on your heels
I'll show you everything that you'll ever feel
You may not like it
When I'm grinding my hips
Rendering all the purpose
From the fruit of your kiss
Standing underneath your own defection
Crowded in the streets with your perfection
Hiding in the sheets you will discover
Maybe I know your heart
But it doesn't make us lovers
If we could fly
Then we would know
With the temporary undertow
On the fringe of high
And the cusp of low
Through the lonely air
If we could fly
Then we would know
With the temporary undertow
On the fringe of high
And the cusp of low
Through the lonely air
Once Again
Wake upon
Scarlet dawn
Watch the stars fade
To where they don't belong
In or out of jest
How quickly you protest
To mean anything to me
More or less
And once again
You destroy the fabric of
Space and time
It's my last excuse to cry
Over you
Twilight queen
In lieu of coming clean
Collapse a constellation
Destroy a cosmic dream
In or out of truth
How quickly you're unglued
From your own intentions
Win or lose
And once again
You destroy the fabric of
Space and time
It's my last excuse to cry
Over you
Fall beneath
Far between
Watch the stars fade
To where they can't be seen
In or out of love
How quickly you're undone
If you can stay the night
I can kill the sun
And once again
You destroy the fabric of
Space and time
It's my last excuse to cry
Speak My Name
No one can safely describe you
No one could stay there inside
Well everyone's likely to break you
But no one would take you alive
Well nobody's likely to change their tune
When nothing suggests that it's time
You have the heavy hand to move
The heaviest walls
You left the light inside to keep
The demons out
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
When everything's said and done
If you speak my
Speak my name
Yeah
You better hold on
Hold on
No one would carefully mind you
No one would keep on their toes
Everyone's likely to bind you
To evidence nobody knows
Well everyone has all the answers
When all that you say is disposed
You have the heavy hand to move
The heaviest walls
You left the light inside to keep
The demons out
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
When everything's said and done
If you speak my
Speak my name
Yeah
You better hold on
Hold on
Bring your minutes
Leave your limits
You're never gonna wear your heart on a sleeve
Seize the day
You wash away
That's all you have
All you have
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
If you speak my
Speak my name
You better hold on
Hold on
When everything's said and done
If you speak my
Speak my name
Yeah
You better hold on
Hold on
Believe
You never feared the night
You never fell in shame
Never put things right again
Never took the blame
Fully
Sidestreets in the alley bosom
You can't miss the cold
There's no telephone
No one would pick you up at home
To hear you breathe
And no one knows what you see
If you don't speak
But you don't have to tell me
That you believe
You never asked for time
You never cast a shadow
Never walked the blind back home
Never watched the sad go
Hungry
Everyone seeks
Everyone finds
That old miracle don't come around no more
Your friends have pitchforks at your door
And they won't leave
No one knows what you dream
If you don't speak
But you don't have to tell me
That you believe
Mister, you have crawled
Over every wall
Mister, you have cried
You won't be denied
Everyone seeks
Everyone finds
That old miracle don't come around no more
Your friends have pitchforks at your door
They'll never leave
No one knows what you see
Never if you don't speak
But you don't have to tell me
That you believe
Waste of Time
There's lies enough to make you blush
And I don't know what's fair
I cannot think or talk too much
The evidence is there
What catalyst have you designed
The burrow down my line?
What's long believed can lead you blind
It buries you sometimes
Freezframe the garden gate don't speak
No one knows the sound
So you don't have to come around
Far waste of time
Stars chase the oxygen from sky
Far waste of time
That you call love
Signs collide and hypnotize
And who knows where to go
I'm holding all the lines inside
With nothing left to show
That arrogance that you described
Is hard to swallow whole
When everyone wants to hurt you
While they tell you that you've lost control
Freezeframe the steps you take don't creak
No one knows you're there
But you don't have to show you care
Far waste of time
Stars chase the oxygen from sky
Far waste of time
That you call love
Far waste of time
Stars chase the oxygen from sky
Far waste of time
That you call love
Far waste of time
Stars chase the oxygen from sky
Far waste of time
That you call love
How do you get past sunrise
In the paradise that you know?
Doorstep
Close your eyes
And I'll kiss you goodnight
It's the only thing I've got in mind
Come to find
You are all that I like
And I'd like you much more if I tried
Well I'd never fall
For a wounded thing
And it's hard to believe
That you'd suffer for me
When I give you much less than I bring
I know that you need me
But I never needed no one
I know you'd commit me
If I ever left you alone
I'd stop in and see you
But I don't know if I'd go home
It's alright
Take a rest on my doorstep
Maybe I'll see you tonight
Hide your hands
They do all that they can
And they speak more than they understand
On demand
With your head in the sand
You'll find all that your heart can command
Well I'd never fall
Like a wounded thing
And it's hard to give in
When I'm out on a limb
And I don't know where I'm to begin
I know that you need me
But I never needed no one
I know you'd commit me
If I ever left you alone
I'd stop in and see you
But I don't know if I'd go home
It's alright
Take a rest on my doorstep
Maybe I'll see you tonight
The rain falls like a melody
Ringing in flats and sharps
Out of touch
Out of tune
Out of time
But they'd never drown your heart
I know that you need me
But I never needed no one
I know you'd commit me
If I ever left you alone
I'd stop in and see you
But I don't know if I'd go home
It's alright
Take a rest on my doorstep
Maybe I'll see you tonight
Let the rain drops fall
Like their enemies
Old Hotel
In the old hotel
Shadows cast their fall
In the night she dwells
A bottle booked and called
Trouble hips sway with the walls
Nobody asked to come
Nobody has to go back home
Nobody asks if it's your last dance
In the old hotel
The rhythm wreaks of doom
In the night they dwell
Along a flashing tomb
While a mirrorball spins the room
Nobody asked to come
Nobody has to go back home
Nobody asks if it's your last dance
She makes it
Takes it
Like an angel
She breaks it
Fakes it
Til she shakes Hell
In the old hotel
Shadows dance and play
Reservations held
No bodies in the way
Forever and a day
My My
I can see you cry
Into lonely night
But if you look back down
I can see you frown
I can make the wind blow
No matter what you know
I kiss you in your sleep
In dreams I'll never keep
I'm lost in you
No matter what you say or do
My my
I can't get you out of my mind
Champagne bottle runs dry
Shampoo hairdo designs
I can't hear you whispering
And through the dawn I sing
To you
For you
Maybe this can still be true
Maybe I am just like you
Maybe what they say is true
Maybe I am just like you
I'm lost in you
No matter what you say or do
My my
The champagne bottle's run dry
And the way you speak like a silence
The way you scream like a siren
The love you give like the violence
Trembling here
The world you breathe is your destiny
No one could ever tame
The words you whisper a blasphemy
Still I hold you just the same
You wait here
You breathe here
You say
You see
You know
La da da da da da
La da da da da da
La da da da da da
I'm lost in you
No matter what you say or do
My my
I can't get you out of my mind
Out of my mind
Out of my mind
Out of my mind